Humor

I Have No Idea What To Write About

Seriously, I’ve hit the proverbial wall!

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

I’ve been a follower of Medium since 2018, I read half a dozen articles every day and even ventured to write a few myself. I have 70+ followers and have made a lifetime total of 74 cents on Medium. Yay.

And I have nothing new to write about, my mind’s a blank.

I’ve written stories about my personal experiences in hotels, the time I kissed Shakira and when I was assaulted by a Japanese guest. I’ve written about bum-blasting, given tips on how to stay safe in hotels and spoken about a guest’s unsinkable stool.

I’ve just completed an online course on how to succeed on Medium by Tim Denning and Todd Brison, very informative and a great help. They dedicate a chapter to finding ideas, but alas, I’m stuck.

I want to be different, draw from my experiences, “dare to change the world with your writing”, as Todd Brison remarks. But I’m scared no one will read my stuff, that I will be ignored.

Drawing from personal experiences is fine, talking about emotional ones is more difficult as it relates to family, friends and where I live now in the Middle East. Do I really want to be shunned by my peers or thrown out from where I live?

I’ve written about taboo subjects, but never had the nerve to publish them; “My Take on Pussy” is funny, has nothing to do with cats and will cause offense to those of a sensitive nature (not to mention that it’s totally un-curatable on Medium).

I’m scared to write about how I feel ashamed as a man when I read about how many abuse women on so many different levels; yet get angry that few people talk about how good men are mistreated by their female spouses to the point of suicide. I know I will be criticized for my opinion.

And dare I write about “Bullfighting: It’s Not All Bad”? It’s so cruel, but just think about the courage it takes to be in a bullring, faced up to a 500 kilo, pissed monster with two, huge pointy-things on its head. Could I write about the industry that surrounds this spectator sport, the families that depend on it, and how bulls live like kings right up to the last days before their end? Will I get lynched online?

“Let’s See Who Has The Biggest D!*k (And Other Boardroom Tactics)”. Is this permissible?

“Learning From Your C@*k-Ups”, “Spain, From Olé to Blasé”, “How to Capitalise on Your and Other’s Mistakes”, “Flamenco and the Call to Prayer” — really, I’m stuck.

I just hope I get a brainwave soon and come up with something interesting to write about, any suggestions are welcome.

Thank you.