It’s Time Abused Men Stood Up For Themselves

Sorry ladies, it’s not just about you.

Adrian Padina


Photo by mwangi gatheca on Unsplash

A big shout to all the abused, belittled and hurting men out there too afraid to speak up. Enough is enough.

I have been brought to tears too many times when I hear of the stories of men — fathers — who have lost it all. Men who no longer can see their children after being falsely accused by their female partners of physical or sexual aggression.

As a young father with a clear conscious and loving wife, I nevertheless used to shudder at the thought of being ordered by a judge to keep away from my family and kids, of not being able to hold my children, of being ostracised by my family and friends for something I did not commit.

In Spain, my home, any woman can just pick up the phone to the police and say that she has been physically threatened by her partner and he will be placed before a judge and told to keep away from his family, that he cannot see his children. He will be regarded by his neighbours and peers as guilty until he can prove his innocence. His life will be over.

Spain is fighting strongly against domestic violence, defending women from physical abuse, and rightly so. The statistics are shocking. According to this report, just in 2019, one woman died at the hands of their male partners each week, and this must stop.

Men who abuse women have no place in society

And of course, it’s not just about the physical abuse. The psychological violence is harsh and some men are, sadly, too good at this.

All men are killers…really?

Feel as I might for the plight of so many women, I disagree with those that say that all men are killers. What right do these women have to say such a thing?

Recently there was an article in Medium (sorry, could not find the source) about a woman who feared for her life from some drunken middle-aged men on a train; well, I once came to the rescue of a woman under similar circumstances on the London Underground and accompanied her to safety, so how dare anyone tar me with the same brush.

There are bad men out there, men that should be locked up and the key thrown away. Yes, we are…



Adrian Padina

Master hotelier who writes and photographs. Take a peek inside my world.